7 benefits of avoiding premarital sex

Author: Heren Tjung
Article is translated by permission from http://www.ributrukun.com

“The fact of life, you are tempted to submit your sexual purity, but you will be much more respected if you are able to keep it pure”

Valentine’s Day has always been a special day for those who already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Various plans full of surprises and events romantic prepared to fill this special day, as best they could be created as something unforgettable. Not a few are planning to give their sexual purity to the girlfriend/boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, as a sign of love, hoping it would bring even closer relationship.

Unfortunately, the reality is not so. A young man admitted that the relationship with his girlfriend is much more peaceful before they have intercourse. After doing so, they see themselves even more frequently quarreled. He actually wants to break up, but it was difficult things to do, because of the pre-marital sex they’d had before.

A success old woman who has been healed from deep depression and broken life because of pre-marital sex with her first boyfriend when she was a teenager said:
” The Part of my life’s that I most regret is the day I gave my virginity to my boyfriend. My days were very terrible since the day, it seemed there was no light, all dark. If there is a time machine, I would like to go back to that time and to defend my sexual purity by saying ” no” to my boyfriend.

Maintaining sexual purity is far more beneficial. Here are 7 benefits of avoiding pre-marital sex:

1. Not easily manipulated by others
If someone is able to maintain sexual purity during courtship, his/her self-image was not easily swayed by others. Good and strong self-image makes someone not easily manipulated by others and is able to withstand in the pressures created by other people, including sexual pressure.

On the other hand, when a person has been handed over the sexual purity in his or her pre-marital relationship, his/her image began to waver unconsciously, and it made him/her easily used by other people who have bad intentions.

A career woman told me how she was manipulated by her second boyfriend after she told him that she was no longer a virgin since her first courtship. The second boyfriend convinced her that there would be no other man, except him, who can accept her just the way she was, thus, she should be subject to everything the man wanted her to do. And it happened even when the man had got another girlfriend and engaged with the girl.

2. Able to maintain emotional health.
Self-control to remain sexually abstinent before marriage is very helpful for emotional stability or a healthy emotion. Although not all people who experience emotional distress is due to have lost their sexual purity while courting, the fact shows that those who do pre-marital sex are emotionally shaken. They are filled with guilt, anxiety, embarrassment, fear of betraying others, bitterness, inability to trust others of different gender, and even become explosive because they are filled with anger.

3. Ability to build healthy relationships
In order to be successful in many aspects, it not only takes IQ and skill but also the ability to relate healthily with lots of people. Positive feelings are very influential for someone to relate positively despite facing various problems.

However, the positive feeling is missing in people who do pre-marital sex as well as the degradation of emotional stability. Difficulty to be able to relate healthily is the effect of the missing of positive feeling. Friction and clashes in relationships with many people will be more often, and it affects the performance of work as well.

4. Getting more respect from the opposite sex.
A student of a college told me that her boyfriend had persuaded her to give in her purity, but after that, the man said that until now the one he wants is a woman who is a virgin and not cheesy. “It’s not fair, he was the one who took my purity, now he also accused me cheesy,” said the girl.

Not only women experienced it but men as well. A young man with a frustrating and annoyed voice said that his lover wooing for intimacy, but precisely from that moment they were more frequently quarrel and in a blaze of argument that the girl no longer respected the young man and blame him for not being able to control himself in the sexual area.
“The fact of life, you are tempted to submit your sexual purity, but you will be much more respected if you are able to keep it pure”

5. Free from Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD)
Many people who despised the threat of sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS, syphilis, etc. assume if they do new or just a one-time pre-marital sex, they will probably safe from STD. In reality, STD does not depend on how many times someone does it, but it deals with whom it is done. Not a few people who get STD hide the fact from their mates, or they even don’t know they have infected. Most of them do not admit that he ever intimate with anyone else before so that their lovers feel ‘safe’ and dare to make love with them.
How sad it to find out that our acquaintances died because of being transmitted of HIV from a dishonest partner.

The safest way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases is to abstain from sex before marriage. In addition, it is very important for couples who will marry their health check-still, make sure both are free from sexually transmitted diseases.

6. Dare to devise a beautiful future
Generally, they who are not involved in pre-marital sex more daring for setting the future design standard of future wife / husband. They are able to set standards of image and character of a person to marry, what kind of work was involved, and the pursuit of a higher career level.

Not so with those who have given in their purity before marriage. Barriers to the wonderful future emerge when pregnancy occurs. Or, even if pregnancy does not occur, nonetheless guilt and various other negative emotions arise and cause them to fear to set the future design. Not a few of them are afraid of going out again, or they dare have courtship but did not dare to continue to a marriage, afraid to acquaint with good people because they feel unworthy, afraid to continue a career in a particular field, such as education or religious one, and even in the extreme, some people choose a life of darkness.

A high school student who was doing very well in all his subjects suddenly experienced a drastic decline in achievement. In counseling at school, when being asked what steps she will take to see the drastic decline, to my surprise, she said, “I better quit school”. I began to wonder and to continue the question “if you quit school, what would you do ?” The second answer is more shocking “I will sell myself”. I began to grasp something serious had happened. After a long conversation, the student admitted that she had exceeded the boundaries in dating that she lost her purity. Shattered image of herself, she felt worthless until the negative thoughts such as dropping out of school and selling herself came into her mind.

Instead of the above story, there are quite a lot of people who still choose and devise a way of life well even threatened by their mates that they would break up if they refuse to give up their sexual purity. The success of maintaining the sexual purity is helpful to determine standards for future spouse and designing a better future.

7. A courage to rebuke and guide the others to maintain the sanctity of sex.
A Civics teacher resigned from his profession as a teacher because of feeling guilty of having crossed the line of purity in his courtship. “I was not able to be hypocrites while my own moral teaching has been violated, I can’t teach moral,” he said. Can you feel how heavy the mental burden that pre marital sex offenders bear if he must currently teach morality? that is particularly true with regard to sexual purity. Those who are not doing so will be much more daring reprimanded or guide others in sexual purity.

Moreover, in many cases of students at schools who are found pregnant out or impregnate his girlfriend, have parents with a similar history of life. There are some parents who do not dare to rebuke their children’s dating style because they themselves used to behave that way.

The reason for the above two examples can not be justified fully, because they will be able to warn if they themselves have recovered mentally and turned to live in the right way. However, in reality the ability of a person to maintain the sanctity of sex during the relationship will indeed benefit the courage to warn and guide in terms of sexual purity.

As he wrote this article, I thought, what if among the readers there who had failed to defend her purity when dating, is it too late? Should you be despair? There remains one hope. Even though your physical virginity can not recover, you can regain your emotional recovery and way of life. Honest confession and counseling are the first step you can take for it. And of course, you need God’s grace to gain your heart purity again.


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